Thursday, September 16, 2010

The Congested Mind.


Dreams..




Recently, I had quite the meaningful dream. I was sitting on the couch in my home and I looked down at my arms and I had bites all over them. Someone next to me(not sure who) asked me how I got them, and I had no idea and the bites began to slowly bleed out. "To dream of being bitten suggests aggression and insecurity."


Coincidently, I had a similar dream about a single rat that would stop at nothing to bite me. He bit my right hand ran into my mothers room. She came out chasing the rat and killed it in front of me, which was for me to believe as she is terrified by vermon. "A rat is a sign that negative influences are undermining your vitality. Dreams about rats and mice usually reflect the worries which are "gnawing" you. Seeing a rat: you will go through some unpleasant experience with other people. If you are bitten by a rat in the dream, be aware that one of your friends is determined to ruin your reputation."

I am fully aware of the skeletons in my closet that naw at my subconscious. Honesty is the best policy, but I haven't put this into practice for a few years now.
Truth is, I am what I am..
Being chased and now being bitten all bring me to the same conclusion. I need to be more honest about my sexuality with those that I care about.


My mothers 50th Birthday party was a complete success and I am grateful to all the family that came out. I worked hard that day to make sure it was a day she remembered.



All that runs through my mind are thoughts of what I will be doing years from now. Enjoying the here and now doesn't even cut it anymore when aspirations form wings and fly. There is no longer time for minor setbacks because I won't allow them to stop me at any cost. The daily grind is comprised of classes and the radio station. Every opportunity I am given will add to experience learned and hopefully translate into $$$.

Money hungry? No would't call it that, but I would say I am greedily trying to make it. There is no reason to settle for half or a little when education and experience can provide me with the whole pie. I may sound like a back to school special, but I never want to have to struggle.

It's constant. I'm obsessive.


Grant me the strength...

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