Sunday, December 11, 2011

Girls, Women, and the Lack of Differences

It's interesting how different women respond to different life experiences. We are like an emotional dominoe set dropping before our fears. Well, maybe not all women, but definitely one I've met recently. Let me tell you about her...

She's a type A personality with little to fret about. In the dictionary, her name appears next to the word 'independent', and humble doesn't even describe ber. A logical mind with a defecit on emotion or atleast that's what she believes.

I see her completely different from what she displays. Hurt by the men in her life, carrying a masculine exterior. All I see is a cover up. Her inability to open up has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with her. I'm no psychologist, but I know a mess when I see one.

The daredevil front she puts up only half way hides her scars. Her brash way of communicating is a turn off, yet, I still want to know more. As much as I want to break her down like a character in a novel, I know I'm no better. My intentions are backwards of course. I will probably only further her distrust in anyone. Being aware of this still makes me an accessory to emotional murder.

On 1st glance, she appeared so together, and so stable. She's just as confused as me though. We are both completely unsure. It's obvious she would rather spend time with the person that has her heart. I'm certain it's not me, nor will it ever be.

"A woman we love rarely satisfies all of our needs, and we decieve her with a woman whom we do not love"
-Marcel Proust

In all respects she's a woman. Completely stable, and self-sufficent, but there's a fatal flaw. Love or the lack there of.
"Love is the whole history of a woman's life, it is but an episode in a man's"
-Anne Louise Germaine


I stare into her eyes hoping to find what she's hiding. I know I'm not the answer. No, I don't I satisfy her. It's a rare occassion when I realize my inferiority, and stick around for any long period of time.

I have to write about her because I don't quite understand her. She believe she hides everything, but I can point out the cracks one-by-one. I wanted this, but now I'm unsure why.
"Be a good animal true to your animal instincts.
-David H. Lawrence

I don't know why I'm disappointed. As if women are different than any other, on how they handle love and emotion. Apart of me wishes there would have been something different. Relationships can reveal so much, but I know what we share isn't a relationship. More of a one-sided duel that will leave behind no causalities.

Searching for this defined difference between women and girls, but all I really see are the similarities. What is this impossible answer I'm in search of?

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