People are in your Life for Seasons: The Break Up

I was told that if I write this out. It will help me cope. I was told that I can't try to reach out because I need to reach in.

Yesterday, my girlfriend broke up with me...

She believes I am inconsiderate, selfish, and that I make no effort.

I could run down all that I feel is wrong with this, but it would make no difference. Instead, I'll write an apology.

After graduating college I felt this urgent need to make something of myself. I didn't want to become a victim of the economy. I didn't want to allow what people said about my choice in study to be the truth. I took action, by being proactive, and making a job out of finding a job. However, during this time I believed all that mattered was me. There was nothing more important than getting on my feet, and becoming all that I want to be.

From time-to-time, people around me would shock me back into the world that included everyone else because for a short while I was in my own world. She was something I didn't consider in my plan. I was with her because of her tenacity, and because I knew that her life/career/plans/future mattered more to her than me or us. It was for this "selfishness" that I loved her. Lost in this world of trying to be something I forgot to be everything to her...

She would reminisce on her ex-boyfriend and the things she knew he was doing behind her back. She stayed with that man for 7 years because he could financially support her. Unfortunately, at this time in my life I am unable to even support myself or do for myself.I just got back on my feet, but it's too late. To her this meant inconsiderate, to her this meant the end of us...

"Now I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger, but she ain't messin' with no broke..."
-Kanye West

I can understand though. I was at fault from the beginning.

This isn't the time that I should be with anyone. It is the time to be more selfish, and to be less considerate. Until, I can afford to take care of myself, and anyone else.

I apologize.

When a good thing goes bad, it's not the end of the world
It's just the end of a world, that you had with one girl


I really hope that writing about it helped :) I love that Drake quote.

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