Tuesday, October 9, 2012

"The One"

Had a conversation today with a close friend. We got to discussing personal things.
Things like sex, relationships, and feelings. She asked me if I thought I had found "the one", and I shuddered as I read the word to myself over and over.
***
If I was to go back and dissect my childhood I would say that it was filled with joy. I laughed, played, and experience little to no heartache or sadness. Although, there is only one situation I can recall that brought a flood of tears to my eyes that haven't been matched since. It was the day my father told my mother and I, that he was leaving us. It seemed my parents masked their own issues so well that such a thing seemed outrageous to me, but it wasn't that at all. I had noted my fathers cheating ways long before I even knew that such an act was wrong. He wasn't very smart about it though.

One of the best lessons my father and mother have taught me is the security in preparation. My mother did not falter when my father left because everything she had was all her own. My father also taught me to never let anyone surprise me or catch me off guard. His best lesson, the lesson he never knew he taught me was that love comes in different degrees. To this day, I do not think my father has ever found his one true love, but it hasn't stopped him from giving a part of his love to the women he has come across.

***
My friend explained to me her definition of "the one", and just what this meant to her. She detailed the life's journey one experiences once they have found their "one", but I wasn't willing to comprehend. I have been in love before. I have loved and lost. I am currently in love, but to say that I will ever find that "one" person seems far-fetched. My tunnel vision currently only goes as far as career and livelihood. I may not be alone at this current time, yes, that's true, but it does not mean that I would be any less of myself if I was. This does not diminish my relationship. In fact, I believe it adds strength. I wouldn't want to be with someone that was only complete because we were together. Then again, some would say that is what finding your "one" is all about.

I don't blame my father for this. 
I sure as hell don't blame my mother.
I'm thankful for the lesson and more thankful for my lover, 
that manages to love me with all of these flaws....




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