Somebody That You Used to Know
Listing all of the things I must accomplish in this year isn't necessary because I really have no other option. Professional trumps personal this year, then again, it always has.
Last weekend I was given the opportunity to hangout with an old lover; she was also my first girlfriend. Since our relationship ended about 4 years ago, we have gone through several ups and downs. Revenge was one of my main priorities when it came to her. Our relationship was built on fairy tales and fallacies; unfortunately, everyone knew but me. The end came and we continued with our lives finding time to bump into each other along the way.
We met up over the weekend and she appeared to be on the same shit she was when we broke up. Even my choice of words attest to the emotions she stirs within me. What seeing her really showed me was just how much things change, people change.
As I pulled up on the driveway she was standing outside with friends draped in blue beads that reveal her gang affiliation without uttering a word. I walked up to the driveway and noticed her restraint in acknowledging me, until the last socially acceptable minute. I smiled at her friends and remained courteous despite my slight discomfort. Her girlfriend turned to give me a look over while talking to a girl to the right of her. I just kept on smiling. They posed for pictures with each other trying desperately to depict something that was far from their reality. When she finally began to engage me it was like I saw myself floating over them just watching my body interact with strangers. She rarely asks for details about my life; instead we keep things light and reminisce on events in the past. I think hearing of success from me would only force her to look at her own choices. We talked at a distance safe enough to ensure that no one would assume we ever shared a past. No eye contact, no physical contact it's all so forced. She calls me over when she's separated from her pack, but it's only to ask for a loan to which I decline without hesitation. Eventually I just begin to converse with one of her male friends. Music is an easy topic to discuss and the men in their group are softer to breakdown than the women. Hours pass and maryjane has left them quiet and distant. My queue comes to leave and I take it. I walk out thanking my host and waving to the shell of the girl I used to know.