Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Forbidden Fruit And Other Thoughts on Love

by Guest Blogger Victoria F. 

                It is a theory that can be worded in so many different ways; "the grass is always greener on the other side".  As old it may be, it rings true especially in my current circumstance, partnered by that of many of my friends. Perhaps this poison draws us because we, as humans, are curious creatures. We often seek to learn more and discover the unknown. You are presented with both positive and negative possibilities when you seek to learn what you don't already know. But the root of that is simple curiosity, the desire to know more or to find out what you are not told. But why is this; why is it that we hold a stronger hunger pain for what we cannot obtain, as opposed to having a pure passion for what is in front of us?


unrequited love image
Sappy, but true!
You know those relationships that slip past you. Those people that always make you wonder, what could have been? We met in high school and I could have never imagined she would still mean anything to me as I approach college graduation. The crazy thing is, she still does.

Fate and timing play a huge role in a relationship. Meeting someone even a month before it's meant to be, could be the catalyst that changes the entire outcome. For us it had always been that way. We could never find that right time where we could be together to explore what could have been. Her and I live in this world of missed opportunities, shrouded in a friendship. The unobtainable has this funny way of being so damn attractive.  Slipping in and warping your thoughts, comparative to emotions like jealousy and love. At one point she was my forbidden fruit. At one point I was hers, and at any given time I have this urge to make her mine.
               
forbidden fruit image
Or.. not?
This “fruit” which we crave, why does it always compel us so strongly? It’s unfortunate but true that almost all of my friends are in what would be deemed as "serious" relationships, yet they fail to act as if they are. So few of them portray characters that you would assume highlight monogamy; loyalty, sincerity, openness. Surprisingly enough, so many of those that I know lack these key components.

                On the total flip side, there are couples that follow lifestyles that actually welcome infidelity. An example of such would be people that enjoy the "swingers" lifestyle. Free loving people that are already committed to their partner, openly allow their partner to "swap" with another couple; usually for reasons of sexual satisfaction. Except is that really the only reason?

                Whether you are gay, straight, or a swinger; many struggle with respecting relationships as they should. It can be compared to buying a car as someone once said, "When I date somebody, it's like leasing a car. I keep them around until I get a better deal or until there are too many miles on the model I have. I can just go back and trade them in". This is also an issue in relationships that leads people to infidelity and dishonesty; seeking what their partner is not giving them. If the individual begins to go out a lot more, it may cause them to build an attraction to that person that is continuously sparking their interest.

Some people are constantly seeking the "greener grass" but at the same time, we often fear change. There are some people that can't deal with variety while others demand it. As a hopeless romantic, I do believe that everybody has their somebody. I think that while some are able to easily find their life partner; others struggle their whole life. It is only troubling to me when this search for a significant other becomes debilitating and puts an unnecessary wedge into one's life; unknowingly helpless beneath their need for something different.

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