Lesbian Stereotypes 101: U-Hauling

Stereotypes play a huge role in our society. We stereotype people based on the color of their skin, the slant in their eyes; the shape of their nose and because of whatever region they were born in. Humans are always willing to place things into categories, but I won't say they all rest on shaky ground.

u-hauling lesbian image
Do you see what they think of us?!
Women are emotional creatures. Let's be real, we are all emotional creatures, but women just seem to express those emotions better than others. We will gladly extend ourselves for the person we love in hopes that they will reciprocate. Women are also particularly good at nesting. We will make a home out of dirt, grass and sticks if only to keep those we love close to us and safe. According to popular belief, aka stereotyping, lesbians are exceptionally skilled at the move in process. In any and every movie you see with a lesbian couple, it's perceived that the week after they met they said, "I love you" and rented a U-Haul truck. Two women together feeling all those strong emotions have got to be close to each other at all times, at least that's what many people seem to think.

Aside from my love of hot sauce, watermelon and fried chicken there are very little stereotypes that I fit into. When it comes to fitting into the lesbian U-Haul circle, I am a square. I'd prefer to live in my own place before jumping to setup shop at someone else's home. I'd prefer to live apart from my lover before we look into getting a place together. These bright and shiny notions sound great, until I take a look at my bank account that would laugh at the thought of paying New York City rent on my own. 

Here's the dilemma: is it still U-hauling if I've been with the person for a few years? Am I wrong to want to live independently or is it just financially irresponsible?

These questions float around my mind all the time, as I see so many of my friends moving in together. Shit, several of the people I went to high school with are married with two kids! If I were making six figures, there would be no discussion, but the fact is, I'm not.


U-hauling is one of the oldest stereotypes lesbians face. Saying it doesn't have a basis would be a lie, and I'm not afraid to admit that. I am afraid to participate in it though. Living with someone is the time when you're able to get to know them best. For me, moving in with someone is a huge step. Moving in with someone means that we’re sharing responsibilities and building something together. All of this can get really messy should it end badly. Not sure if it was during my parents separation, but somewhere I learned that keeping my things to myself will just make breaking up that much easier. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Hard Femme

Image
Here's how Urban Dictionary defines a "Hard Femme": "Not to be mistaken with the typical femme, the "hard femme" describes herself as "queer", is political, looks more feminine than masculine, and if prompted, can kick some serious ass. She doesn't need to "wear the pants" in a relationship- the hard femme rules with a dress. She not only despises the gender binary, she works to dismantle it."
Navigating the queer world can be difficult. As a whole we strive to eliminate labels and break stereotypes, but along the way we have only added to them. In the binary system of (cis)man and (cis)woman, there are also several subcategories, meant to only further define who we are as individuals.
For example, I could be considered many things: hard femme, stem(stud &femme), or a feminine aggressive. None of these things define who I am as a person but within the community these labels help others to understand why I prefer a mohawk to l…
Read more

Reviewed: Lesbian Nightlife in NJ

Image
I know how you feel. You're searching for lesbian clubs in NJ, and you're being directed to New York City. Well, there's two reasons for that: New York City has some of the best lesbian events and lesbian clubs in NJ are scarce.
Awhile back I reviewed some of the top lesbians clubs in NYC. Although New Jersey's nightlife will never be as vibrant as New York's, there are still some establishments dedicated to the gays, so let's talk. 
iKON Formerly known as Deko Lounge, iKon is one of the most well-known clubs in Central New Jersey. Back when it was Deko, this was the go to joint for my friends and I because it was a guaranteed good time. There are 3 different rooms with music ranging from techno to Latin to hip-hop and the drinks are cheap! I celebrated a birthday here with all of my friends, and it was one of the most memorable occasions.

Unfortunately, much has changed, and since a new owner took over the club things have changed. Today, iKon is mainly a boys cl…
Read more

The Mis-Adventures of a Lesbian Online Dater pt. 2

Image
Another online dating story to follow up the first one:

One day, I was sitting with my mother, and we started talking about ways to meet people. I stressed to her the necessity of going out and meeting people in person. I told her that there is nothing compared to just meeting someone at a bar, while shopping, or through unexpected conversation. She told me that it's not the same for her generation. She believes dating for a middle aged woman isn't as simple as going to a bar and hoping for the best. I was instantly reminded of a conversation I had with a college friend, and he said that his father felt online dating was the only way he would find love. We were both perplexed that our intelligent parents could be so wrong.

For my generation, the internet is a means to hooking up. This phrase has several different meaning to different people, but one thing stays the same; hooking up is NOT long term. It's a temporary thing that only leads to a lasting relationship if the tw…
Read more