Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Lesbian Stereotypes 101: U-Hauling

Stereotypes play a huge role in our society. We stereotype people based on the color of their skin, the slant in their eyes; the shape of their nose and because of whatever region they were born in. Humans are always willing to place things into categories, but I won't say they all rest on shaky ground.

u-hauling lesbian image
Do you see what they think of us?!
Women are emotional creatures. Let's be real, we are all emotional creatures, but women just seem to express those emotions better than others. We will gladly extend ourselves for the person we love in hopes that they will reciprocate. Women are also particularly good at nesting. We will make a home out of dirt, grass and sticks if only to keep those we love close to us and safe. According to popular belief, aka stereotyping, lesbians are exceptionally skilled at the move in process. In any and every movie you see with a lesbian couple, it's perceived that the week after they met they said, "I love you" and rented a U-Haul truck. Two women together feeling all those strong emotions have got to be close to each other at all times, at least that's what many people seem to think.

Aside from my love of hot sauce, watermelon and fried chicken there are very little stereotypes that I fit into. When it comes to fitting into the lesbian U-Haul circle, I am a square. I'd prefer to live in my own place before jumping to setup shop at someone else's home. I'd prefer to live apart from my lover before we look into getting a place together. These bright and shiny notions sound great, until I take a look at my bank account that would laugh at the thought of paying New York City rent on my own. 

Here's the dilemma: is it still U-hauling if I've been with the person for a few years? Am I wrong to want to live independently or is it just financially irresponsible?

These questions float around my mind all the time, as I see so many of my friends moving in together. Shit, several of the people I went to high school with are married with two kids! If I were making six figures, there would be no discussion, but the fact is, I'm not.


U-hauling is one of the oldest stereotypes lesbians face. Saying it doesn't have a basis would be a lie, and I'm not afraid to admit that. I am afraid to participate in it though. Living with someone is the time when you're able to get to know them best. For me, moving in with someone is a huge step. Moving in with someone means that we’re sharing responsibilities and building something together. All of this can get really messy should it end badly. Not sure if it was during my parents separation, but somewhere I learned that keeping my things to myself will just make breaking up that much easier. 

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