Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Friend Code: Being The One to Break Bad News

Being a good friend to someone is hard work. There's no instruction manual and there's no set schedule. At any time of day, your friend may call you with an emergency and if you are in driving distance away, then bitch you better get a move on. Men have it a little easier. A bromance consists of being a good wing man, and being there when they want to talk about nothing.

For women, the friend code is written in blood and sealed with Cambodian breast milk. You can't just cut a girl-friend off! It will be a process. One of the most unfortunate times in a woman's life is when they have to tell their friend that their significant other is or was cheating on them.

Is it too much to say that I'd rather walk on hot coals than tell another woman her partner has cheated? 

Women do not take kindly to this kind of information. Essentially, this kind of reveal is an attack on a woman's pride. Almost instantly she questions your friendship, loses all her common sense and becomes irrational. Once something so large as infidelity falls onto her lingering emotions, she's unable to decide who she hates more at the time: you or her partner.

There's been a few occasions in which I have been the one charged with deciding to tell a friend this type of information. My blunt personality battles with this type of situation like no other. In my simple yet well-meaning mind, notifying my friend of what I know is the only way to go about it, but this certainly isn't the case. As the good friend I consider myself to be, I have two options: tell her or keep my mouth shut. I have to say  that most recently, I had to keep my mouth shut. Bearing witness to a friend of mine putting her emotions out there for someone that will hurt her is heartbreaking. Although not as heartbreaking as staring at that same friend in disbelief, as they question my motives for trying to ruin their relationship.

Being a good friend or even a decent friend is not easy. We're responsible for being the person they can share private things with, vent about work issues and celebrating when things are going right. We never know which one of those responsibilities we may have to take on, but if the friendship is strong it should never feel like work. If you're ever in a situation where you know about infidelity in your friends relationship, be a better friend than I am, and tell them!

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