Tuesday, October 1, 2013

No New Friends

Since graduating college I have started to realize that making friends isn't so easy. I don't know if it's just me, but I am incapable of meeting like-minded people at my age right now. Am I an awkward adult? Was I cooler at 15 than I am now? Based on my fashion sense alone I highly doubt it, but 15 year old Jayelle had lots of friends. Fifteen-year-old Jayelle had a social life that was genuinely fun. 

A few months back, I set out to meet some new people. I was looking for 21-30 year old women that were educated, sane, open-minded, employed and fun loving. I made a few connections, but eventually I let them fall to the side. These types of women should be easy to find, and they were except for one little thing. 

 I don't want to get know anyone!

how to make new friends image


Don't get me wrong, I know that this is part of developing new friendships, but I already spent so much time getting to know the few people I have in my life, that I just can't be bothered with anyone else's idiosyncrasies. Now I have to keep track of shit like, "Oh we can't go to that club cause Tasha lost her license again and they require ID" or "That place won't let Rebecca in cause she hates wearing anything but flip flops". Dealing with things like that is common amongst long time friends, but if I just met you and you already have quirks about you, I am liable to just leave you where you stand. Maybe I've grown to be closed down at the ripe age of 25, but I won't ask you to deal with my shit either! 

After thinking this through I realize I even have this issue with dating. To me the worst part of dating is having to get to know someone. I just feel like I've done it so many times and now I have memorized checklists for people that are no longer in my life. Is it the knowledge that this whole process may lead to a temporary relationship that bothers me? 

Then again, I always thought adults met their friends at work? Or maybe that was just my super-friendly Mother who seemed to befriend at least 10 of her coworkers, and when I say befriend I mean coming over for dinners, buying presents, going on weekend getaways together. Although her friendships lasted, I just have this unwavering idea that my coworkers should not be my friends. We can do happy hours and such, but I feel as though I should never call you a "friend". 

no new friends drake image


Drake said, "no new friends" in a rap song aimed at showing how nothing has changed in his circle of friends since he "made it". I think it's more about how hard it is to meet new people that are like-minded and that don't want anything from you. Drake knew about my struggle! #NoNewFriends


Any ideas? Let me know...

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