Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Cuffing Season: Bringing Your Partner Home For The Holidays

I have commitment issues. 

There's really no deep or meaningful way to say that. I could relate this back to my father leaving my mother, but I don't even know if that's the cause of it. I just cannot blame my issues with "settling down" on my father. I just can't!

For the past two years, my partner has stayed on the outside of my family life. She's been apart of my day-to-day, watched me graduate college and change jobs, but I've consistently left her out of my family time.

bringing your girlfriend to meet your family image
I believe that the time I spend with my family is limited, and I prefer to just be with them without having to split that time between the two. She believes my choice to leave her out of these family moments is an insult, and she has started to question my feelings. I also believed that because I hadn't been around her family that she had no right to call me out on this separation. This worked pretty well, until she invited me to Thanksgiving with her family this year, and now I have to step up to the plate.

Let me be honest with myself here: I didn't invite her to family gatherings because I wanted to avoid the pressure of explaining who she is and why my partner is a woman.

Now, I know most of my immediate family knows that I'm a lesbian, but some of them still have never heard it from my own mouth. I knew that bringing her around would introduce my family to apart of my life that I don't feel they have any business in. To my family, who I sleep with should not matter, but to my partner knowing my family does matter. 

I'm torn.

I don't feel as though I'm keeping a secret. I just like to compartmentalizing my life. Although I live life by the rainbow, I still color within the lines, and so far I have yet to cross them. 

The "closet" I'm in is comfortable, but I'm starting to outgrow it. She wants me to invite her to my family occasions. she wants to at least be invited, and I have kept her from that for long enough.  

Tips to celebrating the holidays with your partner and your family:

1. Let your family know that you will be bringing your partner.
2. If they show no violent reactions, you're in the clear!
3. If they do, you may need to do more talking to ease them into the situation.
4. Ask your partner if they would like to come, and that they have been invited.
5. Show up and show out. This means make sure you both look your best because they will be judging you both.
6. Be familiar with each other but don't over do it. Avoid making out or dry humping.
7. If asked when and how you met be honest, but if you met online, lie!
8. Try not to drink too much or leave too late. 
9. Smile!

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