Flying Under The Gaydar


Yesterday evening, I attended a book signing for one of my favorite authors/bloggers Samantha Irby. Her blog bitchesgottaeat.com has provided me with endless laughs, and the success of her musings lead to the creation of her first book, "Meaty". 

samantha irby and fan word bookstore image
Samantha Irby and I (I was too excited)
The event went even better than I expected, and I was happy to be in a room of like-minded liberal women, high on meeting a great author. After taking a photo and sharing a few words with Samantha, I walked over to a bar that was down the street from the bookstore.

After a few moments, a few of the ladies from the signing started piling in. I asked a few of them if they knew if Samantha would be joining us, and none of them were sure, so I put on my bold bitch hat, walked over there and invited Samantha and the remaining crowd over to the bar. In about a half hour, I had successfully turned this quaint neighborhood bar into a full fledged scene. The bartender thanked me with a drink on the house.

gaydar image
While socializing with these intelligent women, each one brought up their boyfriend in some way. Either they brought up how their boyfriend also appreciates Samantha's work or how much their boyfriend should be reading her work. In some way, they managed to refer to their male significant other, yet I hadn't. One woman even flat out asked me, "what does your boyfriend do?" after telling me that her boyfriend is a lawyer.

At that exact moment I hoped that a downpour would start out of nowhere, and then quickly end, revealing a perfect rainbow that would just appear over my gay head. 

I've never wanted to wear my sexuality on my sleeve, but for some reason in that exact moment I just wanted them all to know that I'm a lesbian. 

It was then that I also realized that sometimes flying under the radar or the "gaydar" isn't always a good thing. Not that I should write "dyke" on my forehead, but I just want people to understand that it's possible that the women sitting next to them on the train wearing the skirt and fabulous heels might be going home to a woman. Assuming that her feminine presence has been crafted only for a man is just too easy because it's 2013 and we have to start thinking outside of the box!

Anyway, the moment passed, and I handled it as I would any other, "my girlfriend works for a non-profit". Almost immediately, her eyes widened, back straightened and she replied, "isn't that wonderful!".


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