Monday, February 3, 2014

The Three Year Itch


There are two sides to my personality: the devilish side that believes I can live and fuck whomever I want; and then there's the good side that is responsible and content. These two opposing sides are currently at war, and I'm not sure what to do about it.

I'm itchy... not in the irritated skin sense of the word, but in the restless sense. I've officially moved in with my significant other, and everyday we get closer to "forever". At 25 years old I never imagined myself settled down. Yet here I am, playing house with the woman who will most likely be my wife.

These types of milestone scare me because I feel like there's still so much more to experience. When I reach the end of this life, I want to have racked up all of the life experiences that I can. In those life experiences, I also include love, sex and relationships. It's not that I want to just give it up to anyone and everyone; I just want to have the option.

Prior to writing this, I spoke to a couple people about the idea of "polyamory".
Polyamory: "the philosophy or state of being in love or romantically involved with more than one person at the same time."
This isn't some new idealized way of life. People have practiced polyamory before they practiced marriage, but it's still outside of the norm. I'm not sure if this is something I want or if I can even try something like this with my current partner, but I do know that I can't say that I want to be with anyone forever. 
Another friend told me that I won't be young, and able to bounce around forever. She seemed like she was trying to scare me into monogamy.

Unfortunately, right now, monogamy is my biggest fear...


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