Wednesday, May 28, 2014

In Your Mom's House

You know you've done it; quietly sat on the couch next to someone wondering if they were just as horny as you. Looking at the staircase hoping your parent’s room door is closed all the way, as you lean in for that kiss that will lead to so much more. You may have even planned ahead, and invited your boo-thang over while your parents were away for the evening. Why? Cause you wanted to get laid, and at the time nothing else really mattered.

75% of you clutching your pearls as you read this are guilty. You may think that’s a high number, but I probably gave you more credit than you deserve. I think doing it in your mom’s house is part of a rite of passage. It isn't until you finally get your own space that you understand the joys of uninhibited sex. Until then, you’re hurriedly shushing each other and covering your mouths during the whole nerve racking experience.

I mean who likes quiet sex? What person makes the decided effort to make no sound at all?! Is it even possible if the sex is good?

At the start of the year, I had finally joined that club of grown ass people doing grown ass things in your own grown ass house. Then I packed up my shit and headed back to Mom’s where none of that feels so free. Being at my mom’s house brings back so many memories, but doesn't really set me up for a wealth of new experiences; those experiences mainly being sex.  It’s hard reverting back to that “in your mom’s house type of sex”.

moms house image
Doing it at Mom’s has this mixture of guilt and excitement that really shouldn't be combined. Yet, so many of us have experienced that gut wrenching feeling of hearing that door knob turn to the left. It’s during these times that I realize I may have actually reached “adulthood”. In the sense that my privacy is golden. It's no longer okay to have mom busting in my room to talk about what happened on that last episode of “Modern Family” or hovering over me in the morning trying to get me to wake up before 9am. 


For now, it seems I’ll either have to keep it in my pants or take the risk. I don’t know if the latter is even worth it anymore. 

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