Change is the Constant | LGBTQ Blog

It's been about 3 months since my relationship ended, and I'm suffering from this bothersome illness that is seriously fucking with me. 
What is this horrible affliction you ask? It's something I like to call,relationship tendencies.
Now, you may be wondering, what is a relationship tendency? Well, they are habits that are formed once you're in a relationship. These tendencies/habits can sometimes live on even when that previous relationship has ended.

For example: good morning text messages, kissy face emojis, over-sharing emotions, feeling slighted when the other person doesn't "express", spending way too much fucking time, wanting to use the word "baby" etc. 
Those are just a sample of the symptoms one experiences when they have just ended a long-term relationship and started prospecting someone else. These habits have got to go, and I am lucky that I'm woman enough to admit that I'm just doing a little too much.
As I searched for som…

Remember when you asked me what I was thinking?
You remember, it was that time that seemed like every other time.
Half the time spent with you, I’m just thinking about you. Wondering how I should hold my hands. In what position I should stand and what I can say to let you know that this won’t be just like the last time.
That’s when I choke.
I live for the passing moments in life. The small talk in the conversation, and the times that end as quickly as they come; yet here I am with you thinking about forever. Or however long forever can really be when there really is no you and me.
...What was I thinking? 
I was thinking about the last time I felt your skin. The face you made right before you told me “no” for the hundredth time, and then helped me slip off your shorts. I was thinking about the conversations we had that lead us to where we are right now. I was thinking about kissing you. I was wondering if when you got really close to me, it was because you wanted me too. I was thinking abou…