Tuesday, December 2, 2014

The Big Bad Lesbian

shane mccutcheon L word big bad lesbian
An example of the Big Bad Lesbian
in her natural state.
My first girlfriend would pride herself on being able to "turn girls out". She thought her swag, smile and charm could bring a "straight" girl to her knees. Each and every guy in her circle had it in their mind that she could have any woman she wanted. Eventually, I became one of those women that were brought to their knees, supposedly charmed right out of my pants. It didn't matter that I had already shown interest in women or that I wanted her just as bad she wanted me because she was a big bad lesbian. 

It's been about six months since I started dating her and I couldn't ask for anything more. We communicate seamlessly sharing the deepest parts of our hopes, dreams and fears with one another. She's become a fixture in my life in such a short amount of time, that I find myself wondering if I'm still the same person who said "no" to forever earlier this year. It's picture perfect except for one undeniable thing: she hasn't come out. 

"I'm not gay. I like guys." These confusing and utterly ridiculous words showed up in a text message conversation. While doing her best to let me into her feelings and share this tough time with me she also indirectly sent me a clear message: I am not like you. Of course, I'd be a terrible person to hold this against her right after she took the leap and shared this side of herself with someone that means so much to her. I'd also be a complete idiot not to take all that I can from words that are said at such a vulnerable time.

All of a sudden I have become the big bad lesbian.

The aggressive woman that forced her hyper-sexualized nature on someone's unsuspecting daughter. The unrelenting and mischievous girl that has ruined the good nature of daddy's little angel.


the l word gif

Let's dispel the myth of "turning a girl out" right here. There is no way that I can persuade a heteronormative woman that is solid in her sexuality to place her mouth on my vagina without some large sum of money. There is no way that a heteronormative male grounded in his sexuality will allow another man to engage in anal sex with him without something of importance hanging in the balance.

Bisexuality is a thing folks! Curiosity is a an even bigger thing and it's safe to say that many of us experience a level of curiousity every damn day. There is no big bad lesbian lurking behind the bushes waiting to fall face first into the lap of an unsuspecting straight girl because most of the time a "straight girl" that is approached by a lesbian and obliges has already had that thought or fantasy run through her mind. 

Rest easy tonight because your daughters, sisters and mothers are safe from the big bad lesbians. It's their curiosities, fantasies and deep dark secrets that you should be afraid of. 

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