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Smash N' Dash

"While hanging out with some friends we got to talking about this trend that some people follow in believing they have to date someone in order to have sex with them. I've done it. I think we all have. Gotten into a relationship with someone with the sole purpose of seeing what their like in the sack. This is probably one of the biggest mistakes one can make..."

Navigating The One Night Stand

"Your ego takes a hit when there is no follow up text or even a check up that comes a few days later. Then again, most of my sexual experiences weren't with someone I had met only a few hours before."

Defining The Hard Femme

Of all the many "groups" within the queer world, I believe the hard femme was dealt the worst deck of cards because even within a community that seeks to live outside the norm, binary systems exist and she cannot be defined by those.

The Mis-Adventures of a Lesbian Online Dater pt.6

I remember meeting Slim like it was yesterday. We exchanged messages on DowneLink and threw compliments back and forth. She was pretty much the tallest women I had ever considered dating and also the most masculine in appearance.

Lesbian Nightlife in NYC Reviewed

"As a black lesbian in this beautiful city, it has not always been so easy finding a bar or club that has just the right scene."

Beyonce and Pepsi: The Unfortunate Deal

By looking at Beyonce's post-baby body, it's obvious that soda is not a part of her daily diet and exercise regiment. Bloggers slammed her for lending her star powered image to a refreshment that does not promote a positive lifestyle. I have to say that I agree.

The Death of Hip-Hop: Trinidad James

His music isn't made from talent, artistic inspiration or stories of struggle, but nonsense with a catchy hook. Wherever that bar was that Tupac and Biggy set and left behind, Trinidad James broke it in half.

How The Side-Chic Becomes The Main Chic

Recently, someone close to me decided to leave their main girlfriend for their side-chic. In fact, the side-chic has now taken on the role of main chic, seemingly overnight. Now, before we continue, let us define the "side-chic"..

How To Deal With Office Politics

This lesson in workplace politics taught me so much about everyone involved and more importantly, myself. This incident also put things into perspective, as clarity is all that one can hope for aside from getting fired...

Transgender, The Hybrid Gender?

You maybe thinking that I'm automatically wrong because, for example, a transgender, FTM woman, feels that she is truly a man at her core, but it does not take away from the experiences of being a woman...

Rihanna, Chris Brown and Karrueche Sitting in a Tree...

"There is NO winner in this situation. Rihanna should not consider herself some type of victor in this mess. Karrueche found herself in the middle of two people on the rebound."

The Mis-Adventures of a Lesbian Online Dater pt. 4

"I had this fantasy I wanted to fulfill. The long and short of it? I had never been with a Caucasian woman, so I thought could help me with that."

The Dinah Shore 2013

“The Dinah is considered the largest lesbian event in the world. Anyone can come to Palm Springs and produce an imitation of what you know as the Dinah Shore Weekend, and cause further confusion by calling it The Dinah Shore Weekend."

Rihanna is Forgiving, but Hopefully NOT, Forgetting

"The real question that Brown and Rihanna raise has been brought up for years, are celebrities responsible for the messages that they send to their fans?"

Thursday, April 10, 2014

About a Girl

I met her in a place where friends don’t exist and everything is temporary. When she walked in my eyes lit up and my head dropped down in hopes that no one would notice.

Silence is how I begin every conversation. Body language gives it all away, while my heart beat quickens; racing to keep up with all of the thoughts flowing in and out of me all at once. There will never be anything between us. Never. We live in different worlds and there are no bridges and tunnels that connect. I met her in a place where friends don’t exist and everything is temporary. So how could I expect anything different?

I’ll dance around these premature feelings and just let them go, as I’ve always done. The hallways will become our bridges and long tables will become our tunnels, connecting us in a place where friends don’t exist and everything is temporary.

Women & Weather: The Dinah 2014

The soft glow of the neon lights reflected in our gaze as we approached the venue. The line snaked around the building, but we weren't here to wait for anything. A guard quickly moved us to the front and we were instantly engulfed by the night.

A sea of moving bodies, heavy beats and euphoria met us at the door as we entered. Each one of us surveyed the room just long enough to breathe it all in. Hundreds of women filled the dance floor in search of a great night and a happy ending. There was no questioning what the girl in the heels was here for or if the woman eyeing you from the corner wanted to dance; this was The Dinah.

Every corner of the room was filled with possibilities. It was possible that you'd meet the woman of your dreams, and even more possible she would be the woman of your night. In every shake of the hips and lick of the lips those possibilities doubled. Luckily, this was only day one....


My first Dinah experience was anything but uneventful. I met some amazing people, while also learning so much about myself. During the trip, my best friend kept speaking about how she was leaving for California. She wants to build her future in the sunshine state, and although I loved the weather I stood back, forever unsure. 

Aside from all of that internal uncertainty, the Dinah experience lived up to its reputation. We danced, drank and made the most of the entire experience. Don't be fooled into thinking that this annual event is only for lesbians, in fact we came across people of all lifestyles just there to enjoy themselves.

One more experience off the list. Rack 'em up!

Monday, March 31, 2014

The Dinah 2014: Round Two

It took me awhile to write about this because I just wanted to put it all behind me. This time last year I was in the hospital dealing with an issue I've been having since high school. A mixture of my own foolishness and bad timing caused me to miss a trip I had planned months in advanced. As my friends took off for California, I laid up in that hospital bed feeling like an ass.

This time, everything is different. I’m healthy, aware of my body and feeling fit. Thanks to the generosity of our friends, along with the positive experiences they had last time, I will get a second chance at conquering The Dinah. Yes I did say, “Conquer” because I’m really excited to party and bullshit like it’s my full-time job.

The Dinah is a ladies event which takes place every year in Palm Springs, California. It’s a four day festival packed with musical performances, comedy shows, pool parties, evening parties and most of all women. This second time around I’m not only looking to enjoy myself, I also seek redemption. Redemption for the airline costs, room fees and tickets that went down the toilet last year. Oh yea, I’m coming for my money’s worth and please believe I’m going get it all.

I hesitated to put anything on paper pertaining to this trip, but I’m 24 hours away and I’m going to jump out of my skin. It’s pouring outside and yet all I can do is smile and sit on my hands. Not sure if my excitement is coming through these words, so I’ll just say it, I AM EXCITED!

Scanning the web I've noticed there are few personal accounts of The Dinah experience, so I've made it my business to report every detail(permitting I remember it). Look out for the next post! 

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

90 Days

Punctuality. ü
Dependability. ü
Works well with others. ü
Knowledge of the field. ü
Passion for the job. ü
Willingness to learn. ü
Professionalism. ü

Yesterday was the 90 day review for my fairly new position with this new company. In a previous post, I mentioned moving on and growing, well this review marked yet another transition. Working alongside my new coworkers the past three months has been nothing, but a joy. I have been challenged in ways, I didn't believe I was capable of handling, yet I met every obstacle with a smile. In short, my review went well. I was complimented for my efforts thus far, and reminded that there are no glass ceilings within their walls. A few months ago, I would never have been given the chance to stand before a client and share my knowledge of the digital world as it relates to social media. A few months ago, I would have done all of the leg work without any time to shine. A few months ago, I was fighting for a menial salary increase. Today, I stand as a respected professional within a company that celebrates achievement.

While at dinner last night, I was asked if I feel more secure in my position within the company.  Interestingly, I never felt that my job was on the line, but what I did feel and still do was the pressure to fulfill every expectation that the executives have for me. This isn't the type of pressure that eats away at you, and causes you to stress out uncontrollably. This is the type of pressure that reminds me that I have no other choice but to be great. That may sound cliché and over-used, but that’s exactly how I feel. Some of us feel the weight of that pressure and crumble, but I just keep reminding myself that I can only get better and do more.

After 90 days, I feel exactly how I did when I started; grateful to finally be given the respect I deserve as a professional within my field. 

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

The Evolving Landscape of Social Media

In 2006, I received my first college email address. One may assume my excitement stemmed from the decision to go away to school, but it was really because I was minutes away from joining Facebook. Back then, Facebook was only open to college students with an email address that ended with “.edu” and the exclusivity drove us mad. We couldn't wait to sign up and log on to see what all the fuss was about. That was eight years ago, and I am still an avid user today.

During college I picked up an internship with a small digital agency in Midtown Manhattan. I worked long hours writing optimized content for dummy websites. When I left there, I realized I had been armed with the tools to venture into a new career path, and my gut told me that this was the one I should choose. Along the way I would work for printing shops and medical journals doing anything from managing their social media accounts to balancing their checkbooks.

Along the way, one thing seemed to remain consistent, these business owners knew they needed social media, but they weren't willing to invest the time or the money. They were willing to hire their daughters, wives and even the housekeeper but they were unsure if hiring someone dedicated to community management was necessary.

I have heard it all. Executives have laughed at the idea of selling content as a service; bosses scoffed at me when I showed excitement in running a new campaign. I have sat in offices where it seemed my experience was taken as a joke.

In business, we focus solely on the return of investment. We want to see the end goal before we have even started the race, so when the topic of social media comes up, most business owners can’t see beyond the trees. With all of this in mind, I've struggled with the idea of keeping my career path in social media. Although I enjoy engaging, interacting and representing a brand; I also have to keep increasing my value.

We have to become well-rounded marketers, more so, I have to become a well-rounded marketer. The type of marketer that understands the necessity of social media, the power of rich content and the psychology behind successful advertising.

Social media isn't going anywhere. There’s no reason to reduce the department to bare bones in hopes of saving a few dollars, but we must encourage any and every marketer to evolve with our digital world. The next time a client asks, “why social media?” remind them that who they have in charge of their brand persona isn't simply a twenty-something that likes to take selfies; who they have running their accounts is a results driven marketer that will continue to demonstrate the infinite benefits to all things social in the evolving digital landscape.

Monday, February 17, 2014

Best LGBTQ Dating Apps

by Guest Blogger

It's been several years since the first dating apps were made available to those looking for love, sex, or both. These apps offer a variety of sexual encounters to people belonging to a range of different sexual persuasions. From straight couples who swing to bear-loving gays, those looking have a number of options. For members of the LGBTQ community this means you can find just about any type of sexual situation to suit your needs and desires, which is often not easy for many of us to find. Of course you're familiar with Grindr, which is one of the oldest dating apps on the scene, but have you explored the other dating apps out there for LGBTQers? Don't limit yourself, or your dating pool, by sticking with the standard dating mobile application—check out these cool mobile apps that allow you to connect and hook up with sexy locals.

Best LGBTQ Dating Apps image


Stagg came on to the scene in 2012 as an alternative to Grindr and other apps geared to those just looking to hook up or have a one night stand. Positioning itself as an app for men seeking deeper connections or a long-term relationship, Stagg doesn't just feature the typical full body selfie or penis pic. Staggers can find local men in their area, see what's going on in the gay social scene, check out other members' profiles, or chat up other users. Although this free app is targeted at gay men looking for more of a committment, there are still many Stagg members who aren't.


If a good girl is hard to find, Brenda is here to make your search a bit easier. Similar to Grindr, Brenda locates lesbians using the app who are near you. So whether you're waiting for the train, at your neighborhood coffee shop, or hanging out at home, you'll be able to track down a lovely lady to chat up, meet with, or more. The app has received some mixed reviews since coming out at the tail end of 2013, with some reviewers claiming the app lacks diversity when it comes to what most of Brenda's users are looking for. Basically, it's a toss up between girls looking to swap boob and booty photos or women who are too shy to meet you in person; however, this all depends on the lesbian demographic in your area.


Providing the typical offerings to local singles, Jack'd may seem like your standard gay dating app at first scroll, but once you play around with it, you'll discover it comes with a few substantial differences. With Jack'd, users get a unique filtering system, which allows you to decide what locals you want to see or express interest in. Those looking for twinks and bears—two groups that are in high demand online—can specifically seek these men out. Or, for those into kink and bondage, a fetish which is growing in numbers as Adam & Eve can attest, you can narrow your search according to this specific category. Even the pickiest queen can find someone for a good time with Jack'd.


Dattch is probably the most unique dating app on this list as it is more community-based and offers users more than just profiles of "hotties near you." Created specifically for women no matter their sexual preference, Dattch enables you to meet ladies in your area for friendship, an intimate relationship, or just sex. Users are also treated to an array of content like articles geared toward the quirky, sexy, and independent woman. It's like the 1990's magazine Sassy meets MeetMe meets OkCupid. Tragically, there's been a slew of straight men trying to get in on the action at Dattch, so be cautious when you use this app.

Most of these apps, and many others like them, are available for free, so you can download as many as you like and choose which one works for you. Happy hunting.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Lovin' That Black Booty

It was a Friday night, and I found myself in a club in New Brunswick. The college kids were out, and the bars were packed. As my friends spoke to the bartender to order some drinks, I turned around to survey the crowd. Almost instantly, this disheveled white guy caught my eye and walked up towards me. As he approached, my friends turned around and handed me a drink; "I just loooOve black booty!" he said. With wide eyes and mouths agape we stared in disbelief, did he just really say that shit? This fool had committed a crime and he didn't even know it.

She was still high off the events that took place the night before, and still trying to put the pieces together; skipping from one topic to the next as always. Before we said our goodbyes, she mentioned meeting up with a girl from her past and how great their chemistry seemed to be, "I'm going to have hot lesbian sex on Tuesday." This wasn't something abnormal for her, but it still made her excited. She continued, "before she left the other day she gave me a hot lesbian kiss!", she said with glee.

I am the black booty that has hot lesbian sex. Both of these ridiculous and objectifying statements pertain to me, and so many others. The most interesting part is that neither of these people realized that what they said was offensive. Black women have been objectified since the beginning of time, with women such as The Hottentot Venus put on display for the viewing of white men in England. 

Similarly, lesbians will also continue to be objectified so long as men find hot lesbian sex to be attractive and acceptable. My friend enjoys sex of all kinds, but never refers to any act with a man as hot straight sex, so why the needs to categorize sex with a woman? Ultimately, sex is sex, and no matter the gender of the person that gets you off, those toes will curl.