Posts

Wait, She's Gay?!

What is it about finding out that someone is queer that totally makes them more attractive and slightly more interesting?
Last week I purchased Abbi Jacobson’s book of essays, “I Might Regret This” and it’s beautiful. The book kicks off with her detailing how she just never thought that she would fall in love and then she does, and it’s with a woman. It isn’t that she ever blocked women as potential partners but something clicked and then she was in love.
I was first introduced to Abbi through a coworker. She would recall moments in episodes of Broad City until she told me it was something I had to watch. She was right. Broad City is this dope depiction of New York City through the eyes of two white girls that support each other through the highs and lows of their lives. Opposed to Friends, Broad City does depict NYC as diverse as it truly is.
On the show, Ilana comes off as more likely to be queer so I loved Abbi for different reasons. Now that Abbi has given us a look into her pers…

So Anxious

Image
It felt like I couldn’t breathe. It felt like if I didn’t get out, I would explode. The second time I moved to New York wasn’t as joyous as the first. It was 2012 and my job made a change and relocated to New York. I could either move and make a few extra bucks or go back to my Mom’s couch and job hunt. I took the job and begged my father to let me move back into his house. After a few days of back and forth, I realized he did not want me back in his house and I would have to figure something out.
I packed my car with clothes and drove to Brooklyn. A good friend of mine had agreed to let me stay at his place for $70/month and I was nothing but grateful. My entry-level job was paying me about $32K a year and that means you’re homeless in New York City. Till further notice, I would be living on the right side of my friend’s living room which I also shared with another guy who lived on the left side.
For the first few weeks it was dope. I was independent and living with good people. We…

The Lesbian Collective Podcast: Dreamers

Image
People talk a lot. They hope and dream about the places they want to see and the things that they want to do but they don’t often do it. Sometimes they dream so big that they begin to live in that dream. The dream becomes reality even when everyone else knows they are still awake. I try not to dream too big. I never want to be overcome by a dream that I lose all sense of where I actually am and what I’m actually doing. This might seem counter-intuitive to how to make a dream come true but that’s just how I work. I’ll research, watch and wait for the right time to make the leap from something I just talk about to something I can do.
My friend Courtney has always been a dreamer. Since the day I met her she’s talked about being famous and for some time I believed she would. She’s attractive, outgoing and she has a way about her that always made her seem so cool. I’ve always thought she could probably have any person she wanted and on many occasions I’ve watched that happen right in front o…

Then vs. Now

Things have changed. I once was a messy, immature and bold young woman stomping through Brooklyn and Manhattan with a clear vision for what success and failure look like. I wrote about online dating stories and relished the opportunity to meet new and different people that I knew would never stay in my life. Friends were my end all be all and my job was the only woman I was faithful to. I spent money on whatever with little care for overdraft fees and late payments. Nothing really mattered but the next happy hour and free before 11 at the club.
So who am I now? I overthink and take the stresses from my waking life to my dreams. Waking up at night with my chest pounding because my contract ends in a few months and I haven’t secured my next position. Almost forgot to tell you, I’m finally faithful and the serial cheater has let the pimp hand rest. My mom and I are in a weird place where she doesn’t yet see me as an adult but leans on me like I have all the answers. Don’t get me wrong, ha…

Violence Causes Silence #PrayForOrlando

Image
Iam in love with a woman who is genuine, kind, selfless and beautiful. She is one of the strongest people that I know and she is scared.
She is scared to share the part of herself that I see every single day; it’s the part of her that loves me. The tragedy in Orlando is monumental. It is yet another display of how loving someone can get you killed. It’s the reason why my father tells me to keep my sexuality to myself and it’s the reason why my partner is uncomfortable holding my hand in the street.
Recent news reports have revealed that the Orlando shooter used gay dating apps and had visited the Pulse nightclub. From this we can assume that his uncontrollable self-hatred resulted in the death of so many people last weekend. This isn’t the first time that someone so ashamed of their feelings and desires has lashed out at others for being free and unfortunately it will not be the last.
We have to stop pressuring and judging people for how they look or who they choose to love because m…

... Well It's Cause He's White

Racism and prejudice have been hot topics in the media and society for the past 3 years or so, and this doesn't mean that racism was dead prior to this but it's just been brought to light on a much larger scale. In my mind, we as a people should have outgrown prejudice and racism long ago. If only the strong survive then weak minded racists should have died off long ago.

Before I continue, let's define prejudice and racism.

Prejudice - preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experienceRacism - creates or reproduces structures of domination based on existentialist categories of race Let's use an example:

P:  I've never met a dumb blonde before but she's so blonde she's gotta be dumb!
vs.
R: I hate that black woman because all blacks are lazy and stupid.
Now let's dive into why I'm even mentioning all of this at all.

I have a coworker(let's call him Paul) who is probably one of the most open-minded people that I know. Paul is funny…

Taming of The THOT

Getting ready for a pride celebrations always starts off with the same thought, "what will I wear?" This preparation includes going to at least three different stores, deciding on a hairstyle and skimming through party flyers for themes. Looking good usually equates to feeling good and in a crowd filled with beautiful ladies, I'd like to look my best.
Well, in 2015 I can safely say I could not care less.
Hanging out with my cousin yesterday, he kept referring to me as "domesticated". It's his way of saying locked down or fully committed to my current relationship. I've been with several people prior to this particular relationship, but it's the first one my family has really known about. As a young man, the world is his oyster and part of him cannot imagine being that invested.

Why? Because's he's 21 and life is fucking dream. He also, at least halfway knows, that I was a THOT.
Let's break down the word "thot" for those that mig…